Burn After Reading

As some of you may know, I have a rambely train of thought. So allow me to walk you through how I came to the conclusion that Peace Corps deserves the same type of treatment as a violent club. I have a buddy here in Ethiopia named Tyler. Every time I see Tyler, I think Tyler Durdan. Every time I think Tyler Durdan, I think of the Fight Club rules. Every time of think of the Fight Club rules, I think there should be similar Peace Corps rules. There you go: sane to Laura in four sentences.

As I was paying serious attention to Hour 6 of a full day Peace Corps training, I began jotting down what I thought would be appropriate rules for a Peace Corps Volunteer in Ethiopia. As stated before, PCVs tend to lose tact, so forgive me if you find any part of this a bit too strange. Such is life in Ethiopia…

1. The first rule of Peace Corps Ethiopia is: you do not talk about American food to someone unable to get American food.

2. The second rule of Peace Corps Ethiopia is: you do not talk about American food to someone unable to get American food.

3. Any talk of bowel movements is not only condoned, but recommended. Furthermore, if you go potty in your pants, you are required to send a mass text message to fellow PCVs as soon as possible. This is known as the “Own It” referendum. 

4. You DO judge and wonder about any foreigners, which are non-PCV, you see in your town. It is always proper to assume they are temporary, clean, and normal; thus making them an enemy.

5. You DO take the gorsha… always.

6. You DO NOT look twice at an adult picking their nose (elbow deep) in a professional setting or during a meeting.

7. You DO take the side of your fellow PCV and never the local children. The children are wrong and the PCV is right, in every case. Even when it is untrue.

8. You DO NOT judge the pure gluttony created in a PCV when he or she is opening a care package. Likewise, you do not judge the level of aggression shown on the walk from the post office to home. PCVs should be willing to sacrifice him or herself for a package of goodies from home.

9. You DO NOT acknowledge how long a fellow PCV has been wearing the exact same articles of clothing. Also, you give him or her the benefit of the doubt and assume undies are being changed out.

10. You DO NOT judge a PCV for the duration of time in between showers.

You will never be as free as you are here. Seriously, who wants to join!?!