I found the cure to HIV/AIDS. What to do with the next 17 months?

Last weekend, I was in Addis for an English fair held by the Addis Ababa English Teachers Association (I’ll post some picture soon). It was a cool event that enabled me to meet hundreds of English teachers in the capital city. And being in Addis, I ate Mexican food twice and all sorts of other deliciousness. Not too shabby.

On Sunday, I came back to Asella via a three and a half hours mini bus ride. Traveling in Ethiopia, and specifically by mini bus, is a glorious topic that deserves its own blog. I will just say, by the end, you are done. You are hot. You are sweaty and stinky. You have made mortal enemies because you simply wanted to open a window and let some fresh air into the crowded van. As you walk home, all the little things that normally roll off your back are enough to set you off. Cute children are annoying. People who just want to practice English may learn some new, choice words. People shouting “China, Korea, Forenji, You, Anchi, or Ching chong chink choo (yes, people do shout mock Mandarin)” send you into a rage.

On this particular day, the moment I left the bus station, it started. A very persistent, homeless, and perhaps a little “off” man kept yelling for me to wait and that he needed to talk to me. In my head, I was debating whether to start walking faster, or turn around and yell. That is, until he said the magical words, “But wait, I have the cure for HIV/AIDS!” Regardless of how grumpy, dirty, and tired I was, he won at least a minute of my time.

The following is, to the best of my recollection, the next 5 minutes of my life:

Laura (L): Slowly turning around to face him, “Where are you going with this buddy?”

Crazy Guy (CG): “I have the cure for HIV/AIDS. Do you have a time?”

L: “For the cure for HIV/AIDS, yeah I certainly do! This is a very serious matter though, are you taking this seriously?”

CG: “Yes! I have been to the police to tell them the cure but they do not believe me. Will you go with me to the police station? If you are there, they will take me more seriously.”

L: “Well, I don’t know. How do I know you really have the cure to HIV/AIDS? You’re going to need to tell me more.”

CG: “My grandmother told me the secret cure for HIV/AIDS before she died…”

L: Resisting the urge to ask if grandmother died of HIV/AIDS

CG: “… The cure to HIV/AIDS is silicone. In fact, I think it will help people with cancer too”

L: “Silicone, huh? In what form? How does it work?”

CG: “It just does. Silicone. It is the cure for HIV/AIDS. Do not forget!”

L: “How could I possibly forget the cure for HIV/AIDS! This is important stuff. Millions could be saved”

CG: “Good. Say the word, silicone”

L: “Silicone”

CG: “Silicone”

L: “Silicone. It is up here forever man” pointing to my brain.

CG: “Promise me that you will write the cure down in your diary once you get home”

L: “That, friend, is the first thing I am going to do when I get home”

CG: “Good, do you know Williams?”

L: “No, should I? Is he in on this? Can we trust him? Who is he?”

CG: “He is a famous American musician. You must know him!”

L: “Ohhhhhh, Williams! Yeah! All Americans know each other. Of course, Willie!”

CG: “I have sent him many letters telling him I have the cure but he has not responded. I have invited him to be a part of this. If you wrote him a letter, he could help”

L: “Well, the thing is, I am not going to do that. Williams and I had a falling out.”

CG: “But you must write him a letter! He can help us”

L: Fully appreciating that he said “us”, “Ok, because it is important, I will write him a letter.”

CG: “Good. We can cure HIV/AIDS and maybe cancer!”

L: “Dude, this is going to make you so much money! The cure for HIV/AIDS, you’ll be a birronaire!” (birr being the currency of Ethiopia)

CG: “I am not interested in that. I have the chemical formula to end the world, but my dreams are to help the world”

L: “That is noble. What is the chemical formula to end the world?”

CG: “I cannot tell you”

L: "Come on, please."

CG: "No"

L: “Why? We are in this together. Remember silicone and Williams?

CG: “Yes, but no one can know how to end the world but me. I do not know you well”

L: “That seems fair.”

This is about the time we came to a turn and I did not want him to see where I live.

L: “Ok, I am going to walk this way and you’re not going to follow me. When I get home, I’ll write silicone in my diary”

CG: “I cannot walk with you any more?”

L: “Absolutely not”

CG: “Ok, goodbye then”

Just another day in the life of a PCV. In the moment, every part of me just wanted to go home without talking or interacting with anyone. But, fortunately, this man got my attention and I am so glad he did. Had I just scoffed home, I never would have learned the cure to HIV/AIDS and had such an entertaining walk. There is probably a life lesson somewhere in there. Don’t close yourself off? Be open to new experiences? No. Silicone is the cure to HIV/AIDS and probably cancer? YES!!!