I mean, I wouldn't say no to a care package..

Little known fact: Christmas is about 8 weeks away. It often takes around that long for a care package to get to me. Using transitive property (just kidding, I don’t know geometry), if you send me a care package now, it will be a wonderful Christmas treat! While I always feel awkward begging for handouts on this blog, Peace Corps has taught me how to lose almost all of my shame. And as I assess my stockpile of care package goods, or lack there of, I get feeling pretty desperate. So if anyone is interested in sending me something, please continue to read. If you are not interested, come back soon for the content you desire most: pictures and stories of my ridiculously wonderful life!

Tier One- You could fill an entire box with just these things and I would want to kiss you straight on the lips. They are not the most exciting of items, but I cannot stress the importance of these basics:

1. Canned Chicken- You can never put too much canned chicken in a box. I promise. It is the only meat I cook at my house and in a few months, a three-month fast will start where it is nearly impossible to find meat. The thought of going through that without canned chicken makes me scared.
2. Canned chicken- I’m not kidding. If I somehow get too much, I can barter it with other volunteers. It is worth its weight in gold here.
3. A letter, preferably handwritten. Think you have nothing interesting to say? I promise I will find it interesting. While things and stuff are good, nothing boosts my morale like a letter.
4. Granola/Energy/Fruit/AnythingCondensedIntoABrick-LikeShape bars- I travel quite often here and food on the go like this has literally saved me from full on temper tantrums while on a bus. Also, after a workout, they are great!
5. Parmesan cheese- Eggs and pasta and avocadoes, oh my!
6. Bacon bits- I’ll take any type but I have found Hormel brand to be the best
7. Mac & Cheese- Did you know that if you take the contents of the blue box and put it in a small ziplock bag, it takes up hardly any room.
8. Cheez-its or Goldfish crackers- I like the original but I would love to mixed it up with whatever you send!

Tier Two- These are wonderful things to have but may not need to be in every box. If you send me anything of these things, I’ll want to give you a hug that lingers for just a second too long.

1. Fruit snacks- kind of the same idea as granola bars, but makes the child in me happier. Any kind will be great. Costco has nice ones or I always love Batman, even in fruity form.
2. Teddy Grahams- Any flavor but chocolate is my favorite.
3. Sunflower seeds- Original or BBQ.
4. Trail mix- Walmart and Target have a huge variety of different types. I have yet to have one I do not like. I tried some Cajun trail mix from Walmart and it blew my mind. If you can find that, I’d take it!
5. Almonds- I once said I love almonds so much that I want to make a man almond and a lady almond fall in love so I can eat their little almond babies. If anything, this undersells my love for almonds.
6. Elementary school brown bag lunch snacks- the cheese and cracker thing that comes with a red stick, cookies, chips, all and any of it!
7. Cocoa mix- nothing like getting in a toasty bed and watching a movie while drinking cocoa: Hardcore Peace Corps!
8. Instant meals or sides- For example, there are some nice rice or pasta sides that come in a package in the supermarket. All I have to do it add water.
9. Baby wipes- all joking aside, I get filthy here. When I actually shower, I lose about 14 shades of tan.
10. Hand Sanitizer- I eat with my hands. I pet every stray dog that does not look like it will bite me. You can do the math.

Tier Three- Stuff that will make the child in me happy. These are instant gratification type items. While they are the most exciting, the sensible adult in me knows I do not need too much of these items. If you send me any of these, I’ll want to give you an Ethiopia shoulder bump.

1. Smarties- tasty, forced portion control, and is easy to share with local kids.
2. It is like two days before Halloween. Dare I say, discounted Halloween candy you can buy on the cheap next week.
3. Chocolate of any sort
4. Starburst (fav reds are amazing)
5. I have access to an oven now, so any delicious looking baked good mixes. I have eggs, oil, baking powder, and water. Please make sure I do not need to add anything more than these things.
6. Stationary and school supplies- pens, markers, tape, etc.
7. Any book you think I would like. Or a book you think is awful. Either way, I’ll finish it.

Stuff I literally dreamed about last night-I'm not kidding. I dreamed I was at a Best Buy of all places but they had rows and rows of snacks. I packed a ton of the following two things in a giant bag and planned to bring them back to Ethiopia with me. I don't even know what will happen if you send me these.

1. Muddy buddy chex mix- This stuff is also called puppy chow by a lot of people who make it at home. It is chex mix with melted chocolate and peanut butter dusted in powdered sugar. It is amazing.
2. Little Debbie treats- I specifically dreamed about the Swiss rolls, but I'll take whatever you feel like sending. 

Tips for mailing:

Sister Laura Schickling

PO BOX 986

Asella, Ethiopia

• Mail it from USPS- Any independent company (Fedex, UPS, etc.) will cost you literally hundreds of dollar. You can pack your own box, or grab one of their flat rate boxes. With the flat rate, they do not price by weight (up to a certain amount, just don't send me weights I suppose), it is a set price. I believe it is around $60 for the medium (actually pretty darn big) and $90 for a large. The $60 is the best bet. 
• Don’t Waste Space – One of the greatest frustrations I have heard expressed by seasoned PCVs is when there is unused space or unnecessary packing fluff, such as packing peanuts or bubble wrap. Pack the box wall-to-wall and nothing will move around. Remove excess/unnecessary packaging from materials and open packaging to release air; when possible on both accounts, of course.
• Airmail! – Be sure to write “Air Mail / Par Avion” on anything you send, and see to it that the post office adds the official stamp indicating such elevated status.
• Cover the Box in Religious (Christian) Symbols, References, Quotes, etc. – I know this sounds silly, but it really works
• Use Red Ink on the Outside of the Package – Again, sounds silly, but it works.
• Write “Educational Materials,” “Used Goods,” “Household Items,” etc. on Outside of Box – Writing things like this should help the package clear customs.
• Minimize Value of Customs Declarations – Try to be as vague as possible and avoid declaring anything of real value on the customs slip. You may have to put up a bit of a fight at the post office, but it’s worth minimizing the chance of a package being pillaged en route.
• Ziplock Liquids  - Liquids are technically not allowed/frowned upon, but usually tend to make it through. In either case, it’s a good idea to contain any and all liquids in a good, sturdy Ziplock bag. That way it won’t ruin everything else in the box, and all the other cute little care packages it will be traveling with, if it breaks.

Now, you may be thinking, what is in it for me? I like the callused way you think friend! I ask myself that very question when someone at my school asks me to do something that sounds horrible. I have been keeping a list of everyone who has sent me a package in the last one year, four months, and twenty-three days. All those beautiful people are getting something from Ethiopia in a little over nine months. There are pretty scarves, cool hats, and the best coffee in the world. Oh, you will be rewarded sweetly.

So once again, if you feel like sending something, you’re amazing. If money is tight, you can send a card or letter for $1.05 (follow the same guidelines as when shipping a box). If you don’t want to do that, thanks for just reading my blog and supporting me. I can see how many people access the site and on low days, it is just the ego boost I need!

My family's type of love and support..

In order for me to have grown up into the person I have become, it is fair to assume I come from an.. interesting family. I love them all and would not change them for the world. A quick example of how great my family is:

After discussing how I came up with my blog's title in my last update, I received an email from my uncle Jimmmaaaay (all those "m"'s and "a"'s are necessary). This is an exact copy of that email.

Well, I sent an email to Dave Letterman, here is his “Top Ten Names for your Blog”

10. ASELLA!!! (Read by Sylvester Stallone)

9. Get Down in Monkeytown

8. 9271 miles, bathroom to shint

7. BusRide or SecondBase no need to choose

6. doorless = odorless

5. Ethopia, no shoes, no shirt, no ice, no problem

4. shits&shints really do go together

 

3. MichaelJacksonHasEnteredEthiopia

2. I’m always far from normal

1. Jesus Where’s the Cheeses?

 Just brilliant. Someday I hope to be as funny as him!

America, you strange and gorgeous land!

Approximately seventeen months ago, as I prepared to begin this journey, I was faced with the simple task of coming up with a name for this blog. Laura In Ethiopia was already taken (damn you Laura Stills!). Laura In Ethiopia1 felt a bit lazy. After that, I realized I should be creative with the title. I did a quick search to find that Addis Ababa and Los Angles are a little over 9,000 miles apart. Having a hunch that 9,271 Miles From Normal would not exactly stick in people’s mind, I decided to round down. 9,000 Miles From Normal. Seemed reasonable. I was about to go to a distant land on a continent portrayed as equal parts harsh and romantic. Yeah, I’m far from home, far from anything I’ve ever known, and, more than likely, far from normal. I liked my blog’s title. I was glad to have been creative with it. It seemed fitting…

That was until my mid-service visit home.

America is silly.  My first night back, I went to an ice rink to watch friends and family play hockey. Let me explain this concept. It is this giant, freezing room. In the center of the room, they build these boards about waist high. Within the boards, they flood water. The room is so cold that the water freezes. FREEZES. And then people play on the ice in various ways. It is like a billion ice cubes they are skating on. You know what I do when I get served a warm drink? I drink it. Do you know what I do when I roll my ankle and it swells? Nothing. Because ice is a precious thing that is hard to find. What do you lot do with it? Create a field of it. Just because you can.

A few days later, I went to get meat and cheese with my mom. First of all, I wont delve too deep into this, but it is pretty gentry-like to refrigerator your meat. But let’s move on to the cheeses. When I want cheese in Asella, I have to travel an hour by mini van stuffed with what feels like forty people, all of whom smell bad including myself. With a strange man practically sitting on my lap, I presevere knowing cheese is in my future. Note that I wrote cheese, not cheeses. I have one option and it is only at one place. Then I have another hour on a bus to get that lovely bundle home. I walked into The Meat House and they had cheese samples. Literally, they just gave out free cheese. Free. Cheese. I was so out-of-my-mind excited, I took a picture with the cheeses.

Cheese Tourist!

To give you a basis of comparison, this is the first time I ever petted a monkey. I am clearly more excited about the cheese

A huge portion of my time home was just meeting nieces and nephews. All my siblings seem to have plotted to have a lifetime’s worth of children during my service. Think I am exaggerating? Let’s take a look..

#1 Kingston

#2 Nicole

#3 Ben

#4 Natalie

#5 Matthew

#6 Artistic rendering of adopted nephew

#7 Artistic rendering of adopted niece

That sure was a lot! Think I am done? NO!

THERE IS A BABY IN THERE!

And let’s be honest, I come home in about nine and a half months. There is still time for more. In fact, at this rate, there is time for eight more. I live around more farm animals than people and I've never seen breeding on this scale before. America, what the hell is in the water!?!

This was the tone of my entire trip. What is this strange, wonderful land called America? Do the people there really think their way of life is normal? I am here to say that more people in the world live like me in Ethiopia than you in America. But don’t fret; this is not going to have a preachy made-for-TV-movie moral where I tell you to appreciate what you have. I simply wanted to explain the transition that has happened to me over the last seventeen months. Ethiopia is normal. I know what I am getting here. America? I barely remembered how to function there. I took pictures with cheese for cripes sake. I had to break a Target shopping trip into two trips because I got overwhelmed. From here on out, you lot in America are the ones in the strange romantic land. You are 9,000 miles from normal. 

Pig, TWO ways! My brain nearly exploded.

Oh, America is so cool. It is not landlocked, blah, blah, blah.

Really, 4 kilos of cheese on a pizza?

A space ship, no big deal.

I don't know how the cows grazed this grass into such a cool design!

Well this just says it all, doesn't it?

My New and Much Improved Home Sweet Home

After a year of living in what I would lovingly describe as an Ethiopian starter home, I decided I needed a change. My old place served its purpose well. It was close to my school, had some lovely shops near it, and lead to some good laughs. But there were just too many things I did not like about it to stay there another year. I could not have handled another year of sharing a shint bet with up to 15 people, having strangers stare into my room as I simply watched a movie, or.. how shall I put this... sharing a thin wall with a female entrepreneur who worked from home.

So I moved into what I would argue is the best living situation in all of Peace Corps Ethiopia. Sure I do not have a spare bedroom, western toilet, or hot shower. But it is still the best. I now live in a compound that only has four other residents: a mom, a dad, and their two daughters. I am the fourth Peace Corps volunteer who has lived on the compound, which means they are totally unimpressed by my forenji-ness. There is a wonderful sense of family here that I have been missing for the last year. I drink coffee and eat with the family several times a week. I help the little girls with their English homework. I watch Ethiopian dramas with my landlady. They have a hot shower I am free to use whenever I wish (in fact, last time I asked to use it, they looked at me like I was being silly and said, "We are family. This is your home too.") To summarize, it is perfect. Absolutely perfect.

My adorable little patio. The rooms I live in are free standing, meaning I do not get woken up in the morning by loud neighbors. I have used the table and chairs a few times, but I am really looking forward to the end of rainy season. It will become a delightful place to read, play cards with friends, or play with the kids.

My front room. This is where I spend most of my time because it is where the food and TV are (that's right, I have a TV now. I thoroughly enjoy just melting my brain with some MTV). I still have my comfy bench and a new spare bed. I can actually have people over at my house and offer them a place to sit! The doorway leads into my bedroom...

This was my attempt at a 360 view of the room. Like before, I have tons of pictures up on my walls, along with all the cards I have received over the last 16 months. I opted to have a mosquito net this time around. It is nice to fall asleep with a little piece of mind knowing that no critters can get me.

And finally, people seemed really interested last time around, my shint bet. There are some amazing features I'd like to point out. First, the door does not close. Really Laura, that is a good thing? Yep, it never smells, I do not have to touch anything, and the rain washes it out for me. Secondly, I am pretty much the only one who uses it. You know you have been in Peace Corps too long when you brag about having your own private hole in the ground. The family has a western toilet they usually use. But every once in a while, someone uses it. Which leads to amazing feature number three, there is a water tap in the shint bet. What does that mean!?! Well, it means hypothetical reader, that there is no excuse for people to not clean up after themselves. It is always clean in there and that is all you can really want in a shint bet.

If you want to see more, feel free to come visit!

Teddy Afro Needs to Come to Asella

I miss going to shows.

I miss feeling the surge of excitement as the band takes the stage.

I miss being in an overcrowded space with strangers. And I miss, by the end of the set, feeling an unspoken bond with those strangers.

I miss being in a room with people who know my next favorite band before I’ve even heard of them.

I miss being surrounded by people who make me feel like tattoos are the status quo.

I miss singing along to all the songs with reckless abandonment.

I miss watching hundreds of people feel free enough to sing without shame or self-consciousness.

I miss a singer who is more conductor than singer.

I miss seeing little kids with their parents and knowing he or she has no chance but to grow up to be like the rest of us.

I miss dancing around the tiny few inches of space I have.

I miss clapping so hard my hands hurt by the end of the night.

I miss yelling lyrics like they were written for me.

I miss the idiots in the mosh pit.

I miss the thoughtless people crowd surfing.

I miss the progression of a perfect set list.

I miss the beginning of an encore; when everyone in the room knows they only have a few songs before this moment is over.

I miss walking out into a brisk night as the cold wind hits the sweat I was completely unaware of.

I miss LA dirty dogs.

I miss having no voice and sore legs the next day.

I really miss going to shows.