Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Best Texts

As I do from time to time, I am going to throw out the disclaimer that many PCVs are crazy, offensive, and probably drink too much. You cannot exactly be normal if you decide to work for free for two years in a country you have likely never been to. Once you are here, things only get worse. You lose all sense of tact and say things that you never would back home. I mention this because this blog shows how volunteers actually interact with each other. Be warned and if you don't like something you read, I tried to tell you...

This idea has been floating around with some other PCVs on their blogs so I thought I would take a crack at it. I feel confident that I bring out the worst in people and associate myself with horrible people (one of these is from an Ethiopian!) So, here it is, the top 15 texts I have received in the past month or so. They are in no particular order but seem to get more offensive and bizarre the further down you go. For the sake of suspense, I suppose I'll number them.

15. “I ran barefoot through glass to try to get a free ticket [to Addis], but it turned out to just be plastic”


14. “We are at the Harar place getting inappropriately drunk”


13. “Can you send me any bad words you know in any Ethiopian language?”


12. “Haha, ass tape!”


11. “Sorry, I’m a bad AA sponsor”


10. “Yesterday my habasha [Ethiopian] friend with limited English just kept telling me ‘shower’ over and over again. I bathed for the first time today in two weeks. So dirty.”


9. “I really hate this place right now”


8. “Yeah, they are changing our name to Gun Corps, per congress and Texas. You guys are the guinea pigs”


7. “Did you remember to bring your undies?”


6. “I’m practicing my jump kick, get ready…”


5. “It is my threeeeee year anniversary in drunks”


4. “Taco party may be this century’s greatest utterance”


3. “Oh god. 22 months and you think nothing can touch you. Until it penetrates your colon”


2. “How does one go about properly disposing of a plastic bag containing his or her own feces?”


 1. And the winner by a mile: “Hmmm. Beer and dinner vs. social life. I was suppose to go to a funeral”

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